Thought Catch-All

Month

June 2013

1 post

Jun 2, 201325 notes
#steve-o #gaston #twins

May 2013

7 posts

May 30, 201380,547 notes
Everytime...

I reacquaint myself with Jason Mraz’s music i’m always dumbfounded by the dawning clarity of how deceptively plain his attributes are.  He is Silk, a rare kind of man who’s effect is felt the strongest in that weak, yet hard to reach, spot just at the base of the stomach where all the best laughs come from, right above the where that pulsating liquid pull of yen comes from, and where that slightly ill feeling seeps from when you encounter someone more clever than you. 

but you don’t have to take my word for it…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LA821-mL7Hw #lolz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I12k9HfUAgE #unf

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTpupTjl7h4&list=PL1DD69C94D33258BF #clever 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9fkbF_1EGI #i see what you did there

May 24, 20131 note
#dn wont like this #its the truth though #jason mraz
I follow these blogs

[redacted}

[everything has been redacted] 

I’m drunk,  It happened, I’m over it.  the thing is, I wander back to my computer to find these half written arguments to the internet. Thankfully, I notice them before I post them, mainly because I have practiced for this my entire life.  

my drunk has gotten that good that I can drunkenly censor my drunkeness.  suck it trebek. [i let this one stay becaues it made me giggle]

May 15, 20131 note

It’s funny, throughout my life I’ve always confided the thoughts I didn’t feel safe enough to share with the people in my life into a journal.  Perhaps it’s because I’m generally a non-confrontational person who lacks the courage to face admitting something truly embarrassing to anyone I love and respect, or maybe it’s just that I’ve got better sense and I can reason which are the thoughts that I can share that will keep me out of the nut house. But even after purging the disgusting thoughts into the non-judgemental safety of white lined paper, I still felt it needed to be hidden.  I became a master in hiding things, all spawning from trying to hide that loathsome part of me from all eyes— prying or accidental.

when I was in high school the younger sister of a classmate passed away in a motorcycle accident…afterwards people talked about how terribly sad it was, she was such a good, bright, wonderful kid- why even in her journals she wrote of the perfect husband, and what being a good christian meant to her.  I remember thinking no one would have such kind things to say of me after they read what was in my journals. 

Now, I realize that I was being silly for the most part.  While the content was exactly what one would assume for a teen, ie: dramatic ramblings of who liked so-and-so and how that wasn’t fair because *I* liked so-and-so, but there was also the truly disturbing tidbits that can only be reasonable in the eyes of someone else who was exposed to the internet in those early days, and anyone else who experienced damaging things in their childhood.  While it’s true that today there are popular webpages devoted to all sorts of unspeakable things, it still requires a bit of searching to find them.  Back then, you stumbled upon that shit because the search engines of yesterday were brilliant at finding completely unrelated results- often something that piqued the curiosity of a disgusting teen’s mind. 

For the most part these images and thoughts would flow over and past me never to be thought of again, but there were the times when my pubescent mind would dwell and dwell on the sick and seedy things- all dutifully confessed recorded in my journals.  I WANTED that sick place I could go to- that no one would know about- where I could revel in my own perverted thoughts.  

As it goes, the contents of any particular journal would slip from my memory and upon finding the journal, often years later, I would crack open with tepid curiosity as to what wonders I would find in how past-me thought. 

To date, I have every journal I ever wrote in- but no one would ever know it.  You can be sure I ripped out every page that I ever wrote to myself.  Present-me couldn’t abide these thoughts to ever become my legacy and so I ripped them out, and destroyed that part of my past. Not just the gross things either, all of my ramblings- be they rants of the injustices suffered of a teenage girl who shared a room with her slightly younger sister, or the insights that while being writ were thought to be unparalleled in intelligence and transformative…I was making discoveries!

It used to make me sad, the fact I detested myself so much that I destroyed all trace of my thoughts.  It doesn’t make me sad anymore, because I realized some time ago that I wasn’t destroying the memory of who I was- but rather purging the dark corners of concentrated filth, and clearing out the waste of moronic gushing- the crap I thought was a testament to my brilliance.  And dammit, it made me feel better about myself.  Of course, I do wish I had been more selective about what I destroyed.  I should think I’d have liked to be able to go back and see when I learned the lessons that made me who I am today. 

Over the years of having a public blog that I keep sharing too (no matter the times I tell myself I’m going to quit) I have wondered why is it that I can keep something filled with the same flaws and ramblings that I would have put in a journal?  This morning, while ruminating over a bump in my relationship with my boyfriend I realized it’s because here I can find the acceptance I cannot give myself.  And here, where just by knowing that someone else could read this and be INDIFFERENT makes me realize that I don’t HAVE to forgive myself, that I don’t even HAVE to accept myself, and that I certainly don’t have anything to be ashamed about—instead, that I can be indifferent and curious and perhaps even a little appreciative of the history I’ve left for my future self. 

To be noted, on the bump with my boyfriend: In this moment of discovery that I felt compelled to share (even though now I am 2 hours late of leaving to visit a friend) I’ve come to the conclusion that he didn’t do anything to blame.  Did he rip off a scab covering the painful bacteria of self-doubt and insecurities about body image? yes.  Is that his fault? no. So, I’m going to the beach in an effort to finally clear up that nagging infection of weight related insecurity. 

May 11, 2013

Missed my flight this morning, so now I’m staying in Miami for the weekend.

I think I’ll take the silver lining for a hot air balloon ride and dinner with friends in Tampa, and maybe drive down to the keys on Sunday and send my mom some really cool “wish I was there, but isn’t this kinda ok too” photos from the beautiful scenery!

May 10, 2013
#travel #project phoenix #miami #make it the best #mothers day

I might be moving to DC. Many details yet to be hammered, but I’m more focused on what I’m going to say when I run into Josh Lyman.

May 9, 20131 note
#west wing
Sweet Nothing - Diplo + Grandtheft Remix Calvin Harris

seriously, i’m obsessed with this song.

May 1, 2013
#music #spotify

April 2013

9 posts

Apr 26, 201315 notes
#NYC #Manhattan #Phoenix Project #homeward bound #Central Park
Apr 20, 2013
#420 #make it look like a drug deal #Pan Life
Apr 16, 20133 notes
Apr 13, 2013
#Loredos #*My* bar #Pub Life #Mason City
Apr 13, 2013
Apr 13, 20131 note
#chicago #Bulls territory #I never really understood basketball #Chicago Bulls
Apr 9, 2013123 notes
#stomping grounds #home
Apr 3, 201319 notes
Apr 3, 201390 notes

March 2013

21 posts

“The (500) Days of Summer attitude of “He wants you so bad” seems attractive to some women and men, especially younger ones, but I would encourage anyone who has a crush on my character to watch it again and examine how selfish he is. He develops a mildly delusional obsession over a girl onto whom he projects all these fantasies. He thinks she’ll give his life meaning because he doesn’t care about much else going on in his life. A lot of boys and girls think their lives will have meaning if they find a partner who wants nothing else in life but them. That’s not healthy. That’s falling in love with the idea of a person, not the actual person.” —Joseph Gordon-Levitt (via perfect)
Mar 30, 2013215,671 notes

dreammaker-heartbreaker:

animandaxd:

ask-0ncie:

danglingthpider:

boredsociopath:

On April Fool’s day everyone on tumblr should change their icon to different variations of Nicolas Cage’s face

Or all follow Cole Sprouse on Twitter, then unfollow him the next day and say it was a social experiment

image

everybody reblog this 

spread the news

Mar 28, 2013265,376 notes
Mar 26, 201343 notes
Mar 25, 20132 notes
dan is on tumblr

hey babeilu

Mar 25, 20131 note
a bright wall in a dark room.: A Letter to Our Readers → brightwalldarkroom.com

brightwalldarkroom:

(We’re re-posting this one more time, to make sure everyone has the chance to see it this weekend and hear all about the new direction BWDR will be moving toward in the very near future. After this, we won’t bother you again until May, we promise.)

Hello, everybody. This is Chad, the guy…

Mar 23, 201310 notes
F**k You The Sockapellas

thank you very sincerely for effing off, it is deeply appreciated.

haha this song is hitting my funny

Mar 23, 20131 note
#music #spotify
sometimes a great notion.: the internet is my best friend right now. → sometimesagreatnotion.tumblr.com

sometimesagreatnotion:

You guys, it actually worked. People gave me/BWDR money. Enough to get this magazine project officially funded and up off the ground and out into the world. The first issue will be available, for free, in May! (You’ll have to subscribe to get it, but it won’t cost you anything that first month…

this, for amazingly human responses on movies and life.  One more fine example of you get what you so richly deserve!  Beautiful and revealing, these writers aren’t just giving us essays about movies—they’re all actually sharing with us cinematic memories! Mock if you will, but you all know that feeling you get when you see that once scene from Jurassic Park when the T-Rex is killing it with the perfect dramatic-banner timing.

But you don’t have to take my word for it, try it yourself.  

Mar 22, 201321 notes
#don't take my advice for it #try it yourself #BWDR #it's ALIIIIIIVEEE #give it all your brains #brains=money #give them all your money
Mar 21, 20133 notes
#goats #mushrooms #shoot #duck #scared #toaster #imgur wins
Mar 21, 2013
Mar 19, 2013
#its called Hammerschlagen #and I won #I may have cheated
Mar 13, 2013425,631 notes
Mar 10, 20135 notes
#home! #iowa #star trek #Captain Kirk
Mar 10, 201310 notes
#weeping angel #dr. who #iowa city #cemetary finds
Mar 10, 20131 note
Mar 10, 20131 note
#insect
Mar 10, 20133 notes
#work and play #Phoenix Project #Washington #beautiful earth
Mar 10, 2013
#seattle #future home #work and play #Phoenix Project
Mar 6, 2013
#phoenix project #travel #work
Mar 4, 20133 notes
#seattle #phoenix project #work #misty sendaria
Every fucking time.
  • Me: Time to take a shower.
  • Cat: What?
  • Cat: Wait, I thought we were going to hang out.
  • Cat: I was going to lay on the bed and you were going to be in the room.
  • Cat: It was going to be awesome. Aren't we going to do that? That's what I want to do.
  • Me: *turns on shower*
  • Cat: NO.
  • Cat: DON'T GO IN THERE.
  • Cat: EVIL DWELLS IN THAT PLACE.
  • Cat: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS THING.
  • Me: *begins showering*
  • Cat: STOP.
  • Cat: COME BACK.
  • Cat: YOU ARE IN THE WET PLACE AND THAT IS NOT OK.
  • Cat: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME.
  • Cat: THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED.
  • Cat: I THINK I MIGHT BE DYING.
  • Cat: WAIT.
  • Cat: ARE YOU DYING? ARE YOU DYING IN THERE?
  • Cat: ARE YOU TRAPPED?
  • Cat: I WILL SAVE YOU. I WILL SAVE YOU FROM THAT HORRIBLE PLACE.
  • Cat: I WILL DESTROY THIS VINYL BARRIER THAT STANDS BETWEEN YOU AND THE DRY WORLD.
  • Cat: LOOK.
  • Cat: LOOK AT ME AND HOW I'M SAVING YOU.
  • Cat: YOU'RE FREE! I HAVE FOUND THE WAY THROUGH THE BARRIER!
  • Cat: LOOOOOOOOOOK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT MMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
  • Cat: GET OUT.
  • Cat: I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WON'T GET OUT.
  • Cat: YOU'RE FREE NOW. LET US FLEE THIS EVIL PLACE.
  • Cat: WHY DO YOU HATE ME.
  • Cat: WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO YOU.
  • Cat: WHY WOULD YOU FORSAKE ME FOR THE WET PLACE.
  • Cat: NO SERIOUSLY I THINK I MIGHT BE DYING.
  • Me: Ok, I'm out of the shower!
  • Cat: oh.
  • Cat: hey.
  • Cat: That's cool, I guess?
  • Cat: Am I supposed to care or something?
Mar 3, 201319 notes

February 2013

7 posts

Feb 24, 2013
#nooooooo #scruuuuuubs
Feb 24, 20133 notes
#Power User #Travel #Work #Memoirs #don't forget this stuff
Feb 17, 201330,608 notes
a bright wall in a dark room.: Valentine's Day Movies → brightwalldarkroom.com

brightwalldarkroom:

image

by Chad Perman

(originally posted on Valentine’s Day 2012)

If you decide to watch a movie on Valentine’s Day - and we here at BWDR obviously strongly recommend that you do - choosing one can be a bit of a minefield. The straight-forward Hollywood rom-coms of the past twenty years (at…

spot-on!

Feb 15, 2013125 notes

Why is it lubricants instead of lubricans?

Feb 6, 20132 notes

aelx:

ipoog:

daily reminder to click a button so you can give free food to a shelter!!

image

if every one of my followers did this, we could give more than 85 meals to less-fortunate animals. for free.

Feb 3, 2013128,509 notes
Feb 3, 201345,867 notes

January 2013

1 post

Play
Jan 1, 201311 notes

November 2012

7 posts

Nov 28, 2012267,762 notes
Nov 18, 201273,048 notes
Locked Out Of Heaven Bruno Mars

bruno gets me
gahhhh he’s done it again!

Nov 16, 2012
#music #spotify
Anthony Bourdain: FIGHTING MAD → anthonybourdain.tumblr.com

anthonybourdain:

“I don’t know karate—but I know ka-razy” –James Brown

For the past eight years, I’ve been making a television show called NO RESERVATIONS. I wrote it. I executive produced it. And I appeared in it. My partners and I always tried hard to make it good.

During that time, I understood the way…

Bye Tony, it’s been fun!

Nov 12, 20122,800 notes
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